Warning: This is a humble fan fiction written by me, purely based on my imagination. I was haunted by the movie, its music and its characters for quite some time because of its extremely realistic take on a meeting of two people who once loved each other a lot. Ram’s loneliness is something that affected me and I even discussed with a cousin about what might have happened to him after the meeting. So writing this is my way of finding closure for Ram, and in some ways, finding closure for myself. ☺
If you loved the movie too much, and my imagination doesn’t do justice, well this is a statutory warning to not get disappointed! 😛 And do watch the movie before reading this!
As the sunlight streamed into the room, Ram woke up suddenly. It was almost noon, he realized. Involuntarily, he sprang up from the floor and looked at his bed. It was empty. As he blinked, flashes of the scenes from the previous night came to his mind. He wondered if it was all a dream, a very vivid dream. He walked slowly into the hall and glanced into the mirror. He found himself staring at his 15-year old self. His beard was gone and his hair was jet black. No, it wasn’t a dream, he realized. He had seen Jaanu in reality yesterday.
Jaanu. His Jaanu. His beautiful, quirky, bold, funny, Jaanu. He smiled.
He started to get ready for work. But all he could think about was the meeting from the previous night. He couldn’t believe he had met Jaanu after 22 years. Oh, how many times had he imagined that meeting. Would she talk to him, would she even remember him, would she ask who he was or would she simply ignore him? A thousand different scenarios had run in his mind. But nothing had prepared him for the actual turn of events.
One second, it was the overpowering fear of being ignored by her and the next second, it was like someone had hit the rewind button back by 22 years and they were back in school. His best friends trying to get him to get the courage to talk to his love; Subha always having a protective eye on her “Annaatha”; Jaanu’s beautiful eyes always trying to search for him just like his were; and his shyness, which even after two decades, hindering his frantic hope that she would sing his favourite “Yamunai aatrile” at least now. He laughed with his eyes closed, deep in thought. And when she finally did, as always, he had felt like drowning in that sweet, melodic, emotional voice. Yes, it felt like nothing had changed.
And yet, everything had changed. He opened his eyes. The smile was gone.
Ram tried to swallow the lump in his throat. The meeting last night had made him realize a lot of things. He had missed Jaanu, yes. A lot… more than he had ever realized. But he also realized that he missed being in the company of someone who was interested in him. Loneliness had become a way of life for him, that he had accepted; he had even decided that this was his lifestyle. He had been so busy building walls around him in the fear of getting hurt once again that he had forgotten what it felt like to be looked at with love. When he broke those walls down last night, contrary to his fear of getting hurt, he had actually liked it. He liked laughing with someone, he liked sharing secrets with someone, he liked the companionship. He liked being vulnerable.
He missed it.
That meeting, he realised, had acted as a closure. A much required closure, after 22 years. Jaanu, his best friend, his angel, would always be the love of his life. But by coming back in his life once more just for a few hours, she had given him the best gift that she could have. Jaanu, he realised, had given him the desire to hope.
He stood up with a different energy in him. As he got ready, his hands automatically went to that camouflage shirt he usually wore. He paused for a second and kept it back in its rack and picked up a navy blue shirt that was presented to him a long time ago by a friend. Yes, this looks better, he decided. With a smile tugging at the corner of his lips, he got ready and shut the door behind him and left to work.