(Spoilers ahead – though in all fairness, if you had watched the trailer/promos u can hardly blame me)
Every time I watch a movie, I tell myself that I shouldn’t watch it with preconceived notions/expectations caused by the hype around it pre-release. But the heavy cast in KRK, in itself is a double edged sword that causes undeniable expectations, and despite the doubts cast by the trailer, here I was in the theatre, waiting to be proved wrong.
The movie kicks off with a short history on Rambo, who considers his own birth to be an unlucky event and who is certain of the misfortune he brings about to the people around him. Luck suddenly smiles his way as he falls for two women Kanmani and Khatija, who are enticed by him to a level where they are unable to let him go even when they get to know that he hasn’t been loyal. What happens next is the movie. And here is where it gets problematic.
Simply put, Rambo cheats on both Kanmani and Khatija by, A. Leading two people on simultaneously while, B. Not being honest to both of them regarding this.
But the movie pays little attention to this fact that Rambo has wilfully lived a dual life, manipulated both of them by creating unrealistic and untruthful explanations and in fact, gaslit both of them by denying any accountability to the relationship. So are we talking about a flawed protagonist who stumbled?
Nope, the storyline promptly removes Rambo from the equation and turns the spotlight on two apparently independent and intelligent women – and uncharacteristically but predictably pits them against each other, competing for Rambo’s affection who has in fact duped both of them, but oh who cares about such unimportant things! They focus their anger/competition on the other woman using silly “coffee/tea, pista/badam, matter/marriage” euphemisms, to the point of Kanmani even subtly slut shaming Khatija – all this in the name of comedy. Frankly, the faceoff scenes between the 2 female leads was cringeworthy and embarrassing to watch. I wonder how they agreed to do the debate between which is more important for a woman – sex or marriage!
What was more infuriating is the resounding cheer and laughter in the theatre when Rambo seemed to be envied for having two women fall for him (here is when I wonder whether such reactions would have been garnered had it been Samantha with 2 heroes, well long way to go there).
Taking a few steps back, this movie was promised as an experimental romantic comedy. Yes, the songs were good and had some funny moments. Apart from a few scenes with Kanmani and Rambo which worked for me, it was hard to digest this as a romantic comedy. The dialogues and screenplay needed more work and seemed lazily put together. Also, only when you are invested in the relationship shown on-screen, would u even root for the couple. However most of the scenes, which needed to show the depth of the bond through heartfelt dialogues, end up as song montages and the repeated “Knight in shining armour” tropes. And so, what you are left with (unsurprisingly) is only a surface-level deep relationship, which is probably due to the lack of vision from the creator.
Off late, it does seem like the theatre audience is satisfied with the bare minimum – a mass hero song/good dance number, a few comedy dialogues strewn about, a beautiful heroine, action sequences – Do this permutation combination and you can get back your investment. Going beyond the bare minimum, seems to be a risk that promising directors are not willing to take with big budget films, which is disappointing.
When Vignesh Shivan mentioned this as an experiment, the only thing I could think of is whether this movie may explore polyamory (an arrangement where multiple romantic partners exist at the same time with consent of all parties involved). After watching the movie, I realised that Vignesh Shivan was about 20 years late in releasing the experiment!
It was the happiest day of Preethi’s life. She was getting married! And to none other than the love of her life. It was almost muhurtham time… And of course, like every bride, she found herself in her changing room, in the middle of a crowd of strangers (well, almost – they were from the groom’s family), with all of them trying to make sure her madisaar was draped right!
It was already 06.30 am and the last thing she wanted was for her mother to panic due to the delay. Finally, once the best decision was taken (as the madisaar stayed upright finally!), she stepped out. She gave an exasperated smile to her sister who was clicking pictures of every step of her “Madisaar bride look” and uploading on the numerous WhatsApp groups.
Through all this “Ponna koopdungo, neram aachu” (Call the bride, it is getting late!), multiple decision making on her clothes and hair and the hundreds of garlands exchanged, Preethi knew she did not look perfect. But as she stepped out, she saw her mother’s beaming tear filled smile and that made her feel that she looked like a goddess. Through all the wordless tears and smiles which came at the same time, she knew what her mother would be thinking; after all, all three of them had that single thought in their mind throughout the wedding preparation. They had never needed to say it out loud because it was obvious. And that was how much they missed their father, and wished he was here to be a part of all this. Her mother rushed to her and kissed her forehead. As Preethi looked at her with tears welling up in her eyes as well, she hugged her the iron lady who had brought them up all these years.
As she walked on stage, suddenly through all the chaos, she felt as though she was moving in slow motion. Her brain muted all the sounds around her and she saw the stage more clearly – Her loving aunt and uncle smiling, waiting to give her away; her to-be-husband also beaming nervously; all the photographers, cousins, friends excitedly waiting to see her tie the knot. She smiled wide to see them all – the important people in her life, who had made time to make it to her day, her special day, to see her happy.
And then her smile faltered as she searched for her mother who was standing behind and away from the rituals, her face one among the crowd, her lips muttering shlokams with an expectant yet sad smile, praying that her daughter and son-in-law be the happiest couple there ever lived!
This is a sight that is almost normalized in families headed by single women/men, where their participation in the rituals of their own children’s wedding is limited to being a spectator, that they sadly even do not appear in many photographs of this memorable day.
So why is it that the mother must lurk behind, a step away from all the festivities, looking at her daughter from a distance like a guest, while praying the best for her. Yes, she does not have a husband now. But does that take away any importance of her role as a mother? If anything, does it not add even more importance for having played the role of a mother, as well as that of a father?
We are all aware about the many rituals that must be performed by the people who have lost their spouses, and in good interest – to seek blessings from the departed souls. While this is to be done by the single parents, why are the happy occasions then not reserved for them. Must they really watch their own children’s weddings from a distance?
Though this seems quite illogical and unfair to the rational mind, even today we see that single parents stay away from the rituals in their children’s weddings, even voluntarily as regressive thoughts of luck or being inauspicious is imbibed in their mindsets as well. It is also true that there is also another patriarchal perspective to this scenario. The world does not behave the same way with single mothers, as it does with single fathers. After all, both genders go through the same toiling and mind draining process of dealing with the losses their significant other, but the world has a bias here too for the women, as compared to the men.
This bias also inadvertently then creates a superstitious link between the respect/acknowledgement that is to be given to a woman with her supposed ability or contribution in increasing the longevity of her husband’s life, something which we all know is not in our hands. We think such beliefs have been carried on through generations and so must have a meaning and continue to follow something blindly, without realizing the kind of ill effects it has on the mental health of a person who is already dealing with a lot.
So how did this originate?
Well, we cannot be entirely sure, but when we refer to the Hindu mythology, we see ideologies of celebration of “Pativratas” (a virtuous wife who has made a vow to her husband of her devotion and protection). It is also said that the devotion of a Pativrata can cause longevity to her husband’s life (Story of Savitri).
But we also do have many examples of majestic women in our mythology who have ruled kingdoms post losing their husband, such as Kunthi Devi; further, in the story of Nala and Damayanti, it is said that Damayanti had a 2nd Swayamvaram which was even participated by the Gods (after everyone else thought Nalan to be dead). No one considered her to be any less of a Pativrata or “inauspicious” because of Nalan’s supposed death.
While the stories here celebrate the devotion of a wife to her husband who was alive, the interpretation of the inverse seems to be entirely a social construct with unhealthy associations of ideas of luck and auspiciousness.
At the end of the day, it all dials down to this simple fact. If a wedding or any other happy occasion occurs in the family, it is a no-brainer that the parents would be the happiest to see their children happy. After all, the only ask here is to finally let the people, who have struggled all through the greater part of their lives, be equally involved and shine in the happy occasions of their own family; and not to watch the same like a spectator.
As a society, the indication of evolution is in throwing away redundant practices which serve no meaning at all, and in adapting to a more inclusive environment. If that is too much of an ask, then are we really as broad minded as we claim to be?
Disclaimer: All thoughts here are personal only. I understand that this may be a controversial topic for some, but since this is a no-brainer for me, I am okay to agree to disagree now itself in case of opposing opinions and save both of our time. 😊
“Thupuchukku Thupuchukku Bigg Boss…” – this is probably the alarm tone that we tend to hear every morning in our minds these days. Wait a minute… is it Monday? Or Tuesday? Well, who cares… it’s the Same Day. Everyday.
Welcome to the world’s largest (and unexpected) Bigg Boss – Sponsored by Covid-19, co-sponsored by ‘working from home-friendly’ IT offices and general societal paranoia!
Here also, your groceries and food are limited, and there is no contact with the outside world. Our tasks are set by government and well, the ultimate Bigg Boss – Mr. God. Your task is complete social distancing and the general protocol set to avoid further spread. Unfortunately, in this huge worldwide Bigg Boss, you can only pray that all your co-contestants complete the task set every 14 days, as you can’t see or talk to them all, and if they don’t, out of no fault of yours, your lockdown jail term also keeps getting extended.
The start of this lockdown, I am sure, started off similarly for all of us. Enthusiastic fitness goals, learning a new skill, reading that book that we always wanted and of course, more time with the family! If you were like me, you probably lost that momentum somewhere in Lockdown 4.0 or whichever number we are at right now. Let’s say it, it’s okay. Lockdown can be maddening.
I know there are a lot of people struggling with practical day-to-day survival difficulties right now. My heart goes out to them and let us all try to help them out as much as possible. I know most of us are blessed with a house to live in and food at all times of the day and we need to be thankful for that much itself. While that is a 100% true, let me just say this justification does not work all the time with this mind of ours.
The problems that I am referring to are more to do with the mind, such as loneliness, a general sense of helplessness with how things are going, mental exhaustion and even just frustration at being locked up. Sometimes, it is good to acknowledge that yes, even these problems exist and it is okay to feel them. Trivializing these problems is like telling a guy with a toothache, that “hey, at least you did not lose a leg”. Yes, while you are right, my tooth still aches!
The way the mind works, during such isolation, has been a revelation to me. No wonder solitary confinement is given as a punishment in prison! Heights of overthinking, reliving arguments that happened 10 years ago, still cringing for having had a crush on that guy ages ago, lol. The list is endless… The mind is also a bit weird. While on such overthinking spree, suddenly the smell of carrot halwa which Amma is making, wafts into the bedroom and you’re like “Screw it” and the mind changes in an instant. Namaku sapadu dhan mukyam. 😉
We also come across some amazing stories of strength and friendships personally and by hearsay in this lockdown – the ability to rise up to a difficult situation when demanded, some unexpected strong friendships formed, handling others’ as well as own fears, practical difficulties we never knew existed until this lockdown came about, etc. Again, it is such a revelation the kind of strengths you never knew the mind has.
If anyone had told me at the beginning of 2020, that I would be working from home for 3 months straight, I would have not just laughed; I would have got full-on paranoid at the prospect. But here we are, on Day 99 still in the lockdown.
But we are still here, aren’t we?
If this lockdown has taught me anything, it is the fact that our mind has the immense capability to survive anything thrown at it, which you didn’t think possible. I am sure all of us reading this article would have realized that there is always a way to do anything in this lockdown, which we would have thought to be impossible otherwise. It may be as simple as the fact that the whole world is working from home, schools and colleges happening online, or even the board exams being cancelled. There is always a way, we just need to be pushed to it and we will adapt to it.
So let us just hang in there. And hope to see one another soon. Stay positive. Stay healthy. Peace.
Until then, let me go make that mushroom pasta recipe which I read today. 😛
PS: Guys, please don’t think I need a therapist or something. I am fine 😛
It’s that time of the year. Your palms itch to book tickets, your backpack looks at you longingly, and your bank balance is nodding in glee.
Oh yes, it is the vacation time of the year!
I had been to Gokarna, Murudeshwar and Netrani island last weekend and when I posted a couple of pictures of one glorious sunset, I received some requests on giving ideas for places to visit, budget, etc. This pushed me to pen down my experience, the good and the bad, the expected and the unexpected and most importantly, the misconceptions that I had while planning my trip so that it may help someone in their planning. So here goes.
We wanted to visit the beautiful coastline of Karnataka as we had read a lot about it and so we filtered Gokarna and Murudeshwar (of course to do scuba at Netrani island).
Day 1:
We started the trip from Chennai to Mangalore by train (Mangalore mail which starts from Chennai at 8.20pm). It takes about 16 hrs, so yes, its a long travel. But the route from Kozhikode is very scenic as it is along the coastline. You get to see the sea as well as amazing backwaters and some “Oh wow” scenes such as these while on the train:
We reached Mangalore by the next afternoon and started to Gokarna by car.
Suggestion: If your plan also is to cover lot of places, rent a car through Zoom/Revv car if you have a group of 3 or more as you can save on traveling plus the convenience you get by leaving whichever time you would like to. Plus, on this side of the world, the good places are located at a slight distance from one another and so hiring a cab/auto at each place would be cumbersome.
We reached Gokarna by around 7pm. You get to see some wonderful beaches on the way. We stopped at one such beach and were wowed by the blueeee waters and the amazing locale:
The duration of the drive was about 4.5 – 5 hrs (including the stops we made). Be warned, the roads were not that great at some places during this December as the construction of the NH 66 is underway, but soon we can expect an excellent highway. As we neared Gokarna, the lack of good street lights, the sloping and very narrow roads turned out to be a bit scary. We were blessed to have someone who drove excellently, but make sure you complete your trip by nightfall. Also Google maps is quite inefficient in Gokarna as it shows quite distorted and longer routes. Better to ask the locals there about where to get to where you want to. It became much better during the day to navigate by ourselves.
We checked into Hostel Lit at Gokarna. It is a budget stay and the price ranges from about Rs. 2500+taxes for 2 people for 2 nights. The location of the place is pretty good as it is very near the bus stand and the main beach. But I would not recommend this place if you expect good hospitality (the property manager did not respond to some complaints that we had and so I would not recommend this place).
Assumption #1: Gokarna would have a lively night life.
Well, there was no night life as such, at least the days when we visited. The cafetaria at Hostel Lit was closed when we went so we had to fend for ourselves outside after we reached. The roads were sparsely lit and we had dinner at a small place near the hostel. So our suggestion here is to choose a place with a restaurant when you book a place to stay.
Day 2:
The next morning we started to Om Beach.
Assumption #2: The geographical terrain at all beach places are “plains”. The terrain at Gokarna is an interesting combination of hills and plains. So each beach was at the end of a small hill and so you need to have a car/bike (you get them on rentals there) with you. Autos are also available but might end up costing more as going to each beach involves about 15-20 mins of traveling on hills and plains.
The serene and beautiful “Om Beach”
Way towards the beach – Stepping down from the hill
Om Beach is a beautiful, calm and serene beach. You can spend a good amount of time lazing there. You can have lunch at Namaste Cafe, overlooking the beach. The seats that we received were awesome and we had a decent lunch there. Suggestion would be to avoid the veg pasta and hashbrown potatoes.
Lunch overlooking the beach
Next we went ahead to Kudle Beach for the sunset. Kudle is also a very calm and beautiful beach with the most amazing sand. You can play some games on the beach and also catch the sunset. Unfortunately, that day since the sun hid behind the clouds, we weren’t lucky enough to view the sunset. But we did get to witness some amazing hues on the beach:
We could not visit Paradise Beach as we didn’t find the time. Do go for it if you can.
After this, we went for a walk, exploring the commercial streets of Gokarna. You can shop for nice beach wear and handicraft stuff there.
See the picture in the leftmost corner? Yup, those are smoking pipes with some Hindu Gods carved on them. Which takes me to Observation #3.
Observation #3: Gokarna is a place where two worlds co-exist. Peacefully.
You might know that this town has some notable temples which is thronged by devotees. This is also a town where people go to for the amazing beaches, with some “high” expectations (quite literally). So don’t be surprised (like we were) to see tourists and college students, roaming with some blissful looks on their faces. 😛 It was very interesting to see devout people with poonal and panchagajam walking on the same streets as tourists who are there just to chill. Quite a sight. And probably something to learn from, as both worlds co-exist. Peace.
We had dinner on the street side shops there. P.S: Do not expect good filter coffee and good sambhar there (tired Tamilan alert! 😛 ), which brings me to assumption #4.
Assumption #4: Gokarna has good Indian and continental food.
While this is not a complete misconception, the truth is you need to kind of do some trial and errors to identify places with good food. Almost all places serve good parottas but for all other dishes, it is sort of average until you find a good place. We finally found a small street side restaurant that served delicious Puris and Mangalore Buns on the day we left.
Day 3:
The next day we started to Mirjan Fort, which is about 30 mins from Gokarna. The fort offers some excellent views and you can spend some good time exploring it. We were surprised at how hot the weather was in December, so carry sunglasses and hats and have lots of liquids. There are small refreshment shops outside the fort that sells lemon soda and the like.
Next, we proceeded to Yana caves, which was about 1.5 hours from Mirjan. Take the route via Sirsi and the roads and the drive is very pleasant. It is again a drive up the hill, but the path is blessed with dense trees on either sides of the road:
En route Yana Caves
Once we reached the base of the caves, it is about 30 mins of trekking to reach the actual Caves. It is a bit steep so have your water and hats ready. There are some small streams on the side of the path of the trek which are beautiful to see and you can spend some there, enjoying the cool water.
The mighty “Yana Caves” (from outside)
There are 2 caves here – The Mohini Shikara and the Bhairaveshwara Shikara. We got to explore the inside of the Bhairaveshwara Shikara.
View of the forest from inside the caves
There is a small refreshments shop outside the caves which again offers lemon soda, watermelon, etc. The only thing that dampened the feeling of achievement of having hiked till the caves was seeing the trash being strewn around the caves (plastic bottles, chips and chocolate covers, etc). Wonder when we will learn.
We made our way down the hill and then started to Kumta beach to try our luck at watching the sunset at least on Day 3. And we were lucky! :
We reached Murudeshwar by night and checked into our homestay – Prabhu homestay. It is also a neat budget stay, about 2-3 mins from the temple and the beach. The host is extremely hospitable and they charge about Rs. 2,250 for 2 people for 2 nights. The rooms were neat and decent for the price.
Day 4: Scuba diving at Netrani!
This was the day we were all awaiting with excitement as well as fear. It was the first time scuba diving for all of us. We went through “West Coast Adventures”. They charged us Rs. 5,000 per head and we were under water for about 30 mins.
We assembled at the beach by 8am and took a ferry to the island. The duration of the ride to the island is about 1 hour and 15 mins and we were taught all that we needed to know and do scuba diving during the boat ride. I cannot emphasize enough how good the divers from West coast were. A couple of us panicked a lot at the prospect of going underwater but they were patient enough to deal with our fear and calmed us down and took us underwater. And boy, were we glad they convinced us! The waters at Netrani were quite clear and we had good visibility. We managed to see a lot of different varieties of fish and it was such an awesome experience. Do not miss doing this if you are going to Murudeshwar as this was absolutely the highlight of the entire trip.
Scuba diving at Netrani is almost a full day activity as you would have to wait for others to finish their dives. You can do snorkeling or just enjoy the waters there as you wait. The divers at West Coast had also equipped the boat with good amount of snacks for all (Cakes, Fruits, water bottles, etc).
Once we returned to the shore, we took some rest and then managed to catch the mighty Murudeshwara temple at night. And that brought us to the end of Day 4.
The next day, we drove down to Mangalore airport and were back home by mid day.
It was a well deserved break for all of us and I am already missing it. Do take a break from your work schedule and travel to the west coast!
So how does this idea sound? We are going to take an auditorium for rent, charge people for seats, give them amazingly talented instrumentalists for the karaoke, but they are going to be the singers; all of them together, not one by one. Basically they are going to do the work and pay for it too.
I’m sure at first glance, you would have laughed at this. Who would pay to do something that they do in they own living rooms, with no expense, one might ask.
Enter “Motta Maadi Music”!
A sight of 1000 people or so in the audience, in a full house auditorium such as Music academy, singing in unison, while grooving to their favorite music directors’ songs, with NO famous singer/musician on stage; and that’s what I experienced yesterday.
I was not able to arrive at any other plausible conclusion for the kind of response that I saw yesterday. The sheer passion and love for Tamil film songs created by Maestro Ilayaraja and our Oscar thalaivar ARR, brought about 1000 people together, to share their love for such music, while being supported and guided by absolutely brilliant musicians on stage. The flute, veena, violin, purcussion and guitars were just fantastic. I felt very glad for them as I do not know of they have got their break in their careers yet. I am sure now, they are being/will be noticed and very rightly so. I have attached a video (pardon the low quality of my cheap android phone), which is just a sneak peak of the instrumentalists and the excited audience. I would gladly attend a solo show of the instrumentalists. Thank you for the goosebumps-evoking music, you guys!
This just goes to show that we need not wait for opportunities to come knocking. These guys have essentially created opportunities for themselves. Gone are the days when you would pay only to listen to “popular” or acclaimed musicians. These guys are equally talented and we, as audience, are equally happy to see good music being performed. That’s a lesson for us, when we feel bad for ourselves that life hasn’t given us a break! Tip: Find a way or create one.
The fact that there was no singer on the stage to guide the excitedly singing crowd, I feel is a double edged sword. In some songs, I felt it badly needed one as the energy went low and I felt myself zoning in and out. I understand that that is their USP but in a crowd of 1000, it would be nice to have a nice singer just joining intermittently, to bring back the energy. Maybe in a smaller crowd, this wouldn’t have seemed necessary. So, just a suggestion to you guys! 🙂
Motta Maadi music, in crux, is like a pub for people who aren’t into drinking*! 😉 Music is the one thing that can make you high and we got visual proof for that yesterday. Whether this idea will last, only time will tell.
Nevertheless, had an enjoyable experience yesterday, and kudos to the philanthropic work being done by you all. Inspired!
To you all who haven’t attended this, maybe give it a try if you’re as passionate about Tamil film music as most of the rest of the world! After all, if anything can bring people together, music can!
People say your life is determined by your choices. Maybe. I don’t disagree. But more than that, I would say your life is determined by which side of the world you are born in.
Don’t believe me? I’ll tell you why.
We all live on the same planet. When it’s night here, it’s day in the other half. But that’s not the only thing that’s starkly different between the two sides. In one side of the world, you are mocked for something for which you are celebrated in the other side.
We rush to buy face creams that promise to make us “fair and lovely” in India.
And guys and girls spend whole days on beaches trying to get tanned over on the other side.
If you don’t take care of your parents once you settle down in life, you are ungrateful in India.
If you don’t move out of the house once you turn 18, you are mocked there.
Movies here show a girl (photographed nude my mistake) deciding to commit suicide as “who will marry her” after this, and showing your body is worse than dying. And there are nude beaches there.
Love marriages are nothing short of a scandal here, especially if they involve different castes and religions (“unity in diversity” is just a saying learnt to get marks in school by the way).
And parents are more than happy that you actually found someone who loves you, on the other side.
You are judged if you are not a virgin when you get married,
And there you are judged if you are a virgin!
Marriages are for life, here. You give a person more chances before you give up on them.
People seem to be much faster in moving on over there.
A divorce is a taboo. If a girl is divorced and she still chooses to show her face to the outside world, her head held high, it must have been her fault. Worse still, if someone gets married the second time in a lavish way (for that’s the marriage that’s going to last for them, so why can’t they celebrate it), they are judged.
Divorce just isn’t such a big deal there.
Something so normal on one side of the world, is considered to be a crime or a joke on the other. So basically there is no right or wrong in this world. It all depends on which side of the world you are in!
It’s just strange, isn’t it? To think that your life could have been completely different had you been born a few thousand kilometres away.
Do you remember when you were a kid, when you had that feeling of not being able to wait to grow up. To become an adult? Because we thought grown-ups were way cooler. They had a “job”, didn’t have to go to school and submit assignments, didn’t have model tests, didn’t have public exams! Boy, I remember how much I just wanted that phase to get over because I thought I was finally going to be done with all the tests in life. Little did I know that I was just getting started!
With every passing day, I realise what an important and difficult phase the 20s-30s is. Suddenly we are expected to take all of life’s most important decisions in such a short while, which would probably determine the path of the rest of our lives. We need to decide, very carefully (and of course, first time right is expected here), what’s going to be our career, our identity, our life partner, our friends that will probably come for life…all this while trying to understand why our metabolism suddenly has reduced, how to stay fit while juggling office and home and trying to change eating habits (such as stress eating/not eating, how to avoid the tempting junk now that you have money, to name a few). It seems more like a gamble. Childhood was a much simpler time, especially because someone else was entrusted with most of the decision-making!
It has made me wonder, what did we really learn in school? What is our syllabus really framed around? I know learning the area of a rectangle is important if I choose to become an engineer, and understanding cell biology will come in handy if I choose to specialise in that, but what are the things we all will have in common growing up, irrespective of whether we are engineers or astronauts, or even chartered accountants?
Life changing decisions like how to know the difference between attraction and love, choosing a life partner, handling rejection (whether at love or at a job), handling relationships successfully, sex education, the importance of consent, depression, suicidal thoughts, experiences on dealing with death and losses, understanding different sexual orientation, gender crisis, and the next batch of decisions about personal finances, knowing how to do basic taxes, to grow vegetables at home, and even everyday problems like what to do when your vehicle breaks down, when there is a fuse in the bulb at home, minimal first aid, CPR…I can go on. The one thing I can say for sure is, almost all of us would go through all of these phases, but no one warned us about all this, right? Did anyone teach us, say, that when you enter your adolescence, your body and mind are going to tell you a lot of confusing things and oh, it’s normal?
No. We live in the era when our biology teachers skip chapters on reproduction system and menstruation because they are too “embarrassed” to teach it in a co-ed class. The stigma associated with love and relationships is very childish and ironic, especially because it’s guaranteed that all of us will go through it, and yet, no parent or teacher is willing to talk about it.
I know that some things are best learnt when experienced, and that there is no right and wrong manual to handle, for instance, depression. But it would surely help to listen to some personal experiences on how someone overcame it, so that it would have taught us that it is at least normal to go through these things.
If any teacher or parent is reading this, a suggestion or request would be talk to the young kids about all these “awkward topics” as a step to reduce the awkwardness prevalent around them. If you don’t, it’s anyway going to hit them full on at some point, and if you share your experiences and concerns and let them know it’s okay and that it’s part of growing up, it would be very instrumental in shaping their perspective and help in all of their decisions as mentioned above.
So many dreams… So many desires. Crushed, because you wanted me to live by your rules.
You called me selfish because I wanted to live my life in a way that didn’t fit your box. I kicked and screamed… You shushed me coz “the neighbours” might hear.
My parents suddenly put your priority before mine. When I most needed them to be on my side, I felt alone, disheartened, inferior as they chose your choice over mine. In everything.
I wanted to be an artist. “What will they think”, they asked me.
I wanted to marry my love. “Love marriage?”, they scoffed. “What will they say”, they asked me.
I didn’t want to have children. They threatened to disown me. “Whatever will they talk about us”, they cried.
Pleasing you, a faceless stranger, had suddenly become more important to them than me.
I was angry. I was frustrated.
But all I could see was the fear for you in their eyes. What if you come to know that I wanted to be different?
I rushed to a corner to hide from your sight. Maybe you will miss me in the crowd, I hoped. After all, you influence so many lives.
But no, your sight is powerful. I run and run, I’m breathless. And still you manage to find me.
“Hey stranger”, you call me.
I turn around in shock. I can see the familiar fear that shrouded my eyes, in yours. You’re breathless like me. Have you been running too? From whom, I wonder.
And it hits me. You’re my stranger.
And I’m yours.
Warning: This is a humble fan fiction written by me, purely based on my imagination. I was haunted by the movie, its music and its characters for quite some time because of its extremely realistic take on a meeting of two people who once loved each other a lot. Ram’s loneliness is something that affected me and I even discussed with a cousin about what might have happened to him after the meeting. So writing this is my way of finding closure for Ram, and in some ways, finding closure for myself. ☺
If you loved the movie too much, and my imagination doesn’t do justice, well this is a statutory warning to not get disappointed! 😛 And do watch the movie before reading this!
As the sunlight streamed into the room, Ram woke up suddenly. It was almost noon, he realized. Involuntarily, he sprang up from the floor and looked at his bed. It was empty. As he blinked, flashes of the scenes from the previous night came to his mind. He wondered if it was all a dream, a very vivid dream. He walked slowly into the hall and glanced into the mirror. He found himself staring at his 15-year old self. His beard was gone and his hair was jet black. No, it wasn’t a dream, he realized. He had seen Jaanu in reality yesterday.
Jaanu. His Jaanu. His beautiful, quirky, bold, funny, Jaanu. He smiled.
He started to get ready for work. But all he could think about was the meeting from the previous night. He couldn’t believe he had met Jaanu after 22 years. Oh, how many times had he imagined that meeting. Would she talk to him, would she even remember him, would she ask who he was or would she simply ignore him? A thousand different scenarios had run in his mind. But nothing had prepared him for the actual turn of events.
One second, it was the overpowering fear of being ignored by her and the next second, it was like someone had hit the rewind button back by 22 years and they were back in school. His best friends trying to get him to get the courage to talk to his love; Subha always having a protective eye on her “Annaatha”; Jaanu’s beautiful eyes always trying to search for him just like his were; and his shyness, which even after two decades, hindering his frantic hope that she would sing his favourite “Yamunai aatrile” at least now. He laughed with his eyes closed, deep in thought. And when she finally did, as always, he had felt like drowning in that sweet, melodic, emotional voice. Yes, it felt like nothing had changed.
And yet, everything had changed. He opened his eyes. The smile was gone.
Ram tried to swallow the lump in his throat. The meeting last night had made him realize a lot of things. He had missed Jaanu, yes. A lot… more than he had ever realized. But he also realized that he missed being in the company of someone who was interested in him. Loneliness had become a way of life for him, that he had accepted; he had even decided that this was his lifestyle. He had been so busy building walls around him in the fear of getting hurt once again that he had forgotten what it felt like to be looked at with love. When he broke those walls down last night, contrary to his fear of getting hurt, he had actually liked it. He liked laughing with someone, he liked sharing secrets with someone, he liked the companionship. He liked being vulnerable.
He missed it.
That meeting, he realised, had acted as a closure. A much required closure, after 22 years. Jaanu, his best friend, his angel, would always be the love of his life. But by coming back in his life once more just for a few hours, she had given him the best gift that she could have. Jaanu, he realised, had given him the desire to hope.
He stood up with a different energy in him. As he got ready, his hands automatically went to that camouflage shirt he usually wore. He paused for a second and kept it back in its rack and picked up a navy blue shirt that was presented to him a long time ago by a friend. Yes, this looks better, he decided. With a smile tugging at the corner of his lips, he got ready and shut the door behind him and left to work.
So do you have a large group of friends that always tends to go into selfie-mode in every meet-up? Well, then here are some general observations of different characters of a group selfie that you can probably relate to… 😉
The Selfie-Taker.
1st lets talk about the Selfie-Taker. After all, he is the least visible in the Selfie itself so let’s give him first priority in this article at least. He is the unfortunate soul who is holding the phone, usually having a mental debate as to which hand he must use to hold the phone so it can be stretched to the maximum thereby covering everyone. And in the process, he ends up covering only 20% of himself. Oh, the poor sacrificer!
The Nogaama Nongu thingaravanga (Translation very difficult as the beauty of the phrase might be lost in the course of the same)
To those who didn’t understand the caption, I’m hopeful that you will get to know what I meant through the explanation. They are the ones who dare not go near the phone as they know the consequences of being the Selfie-Taker. As a result, they convince someone else to take the fall and they always manage to catch a flattering pose on the sefie as they are aware of which angle of which side of their face looks the best (due to extensive training in private). So they turn out looking exactly the same in each picture. Not that they are complaining, they look their best!
The “I don’t give a damn”.
This one is easy to spot. Usually, when a group starts clicking selfies, the process would go on and on and on and on… (you get the drift) until the phone starts crying of “Low Battery”, as each person in the group will keep rejecting/deleting the pics in which they don’t look good. Look through all of the pics and the bored one would be the one rolling his eyes or not looking at the camera and simply not gelling with the pouting, posing group. Research has verified that the number of bored faces on a selfie is directly proportional to the duration of the whole selfie process.
The “Goofy” One.
This one is slightly irritating to me, personally. In each photo, he is the one either “OOOhing” or “AAAhing” and the level of posing goes to that extent that you start wondering why they are trying so hard to look like a monkey that got high. It’s like I want to say , “Dude, PEOPLE are going to look at this, dial it down”. But nope, his enthusiasm (as I put it decently), is relentless and he gets energized to think of more and more creative and slightly scary poses as the process continues.
The Pouter.
As a girl who is an epic fail when it comes to pouting for a picture, I have no other option but to make fun of those who do. These are the ones that look like… Oh, screw it. Here goes… Yes, I am jealous of the perfect pout. Let’s face it, the ones who manage to pull it off look pretty good. But the ones who, like me, just cannot pout, well, need to quit trying and keep those trial pictures safely locked away from the outside world.
So, which one are you? Surely, you can categorize your friends among these as you read the article. Tag them and share the article! 😀
Anything and Everything 